Auto manufacturer Volkswagen unveiled at its Chattanooga manufacturing facility an ingenious way to sell its diesel cars – the sale of which had been halted after the discovery that they used a “defeat device” for emissions testing – by marketing them to be used as Halloween fog machines, rather than as vehicles.
“Chattanooga is home to some of the best haunted houses in the region, and every haunted house needs a good smoke machine,” said a VW spokesperson wearing a skeleton costume at a press conference this afternoon. “These mobile fog machines emit thick clouds of pollutants, which will make your haunted house that much more spooky.”
The VW spokesperson stressed, while he winked conspicuously, that the mobile fog machine should only be towed from place to place and not driven, although the driving capability of it had not been disabled.
“What can I say? They outsmarted us,” said a representative from the Environmental Protection Agency. “They’re selling them as fog machines, rather than cars, so they don’t have to abide by all the regulations regarding vehicle emissions. VW, you magnificent bastard.”