July 2020

Satan announces SFEST after JFEST is officially canceled

Just hours after concert organizers announced the yearly Christian music festival JFEST was canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Dark Lord and ruler of Hell Satan announced plans to replace the gathering with his very own SFEST.

Experts believe the announcement comes after a multi-century battle of good vs evil.

“While Jehovah’s plans have been foiled once again, the ground will open and the gates of hell will rise upon the Tennessee Riverpark and SFEST will reign supreme,” explained Satan, while releasing a belly laugh full of fire and brimstone. “The fires of Hell are just hot enough to burn away the Coronavirus, and be sure to purchase a keepsake SFEST pentagram koozie from one of my demons in the merch tent.”