June 2015

Slide the City being left for new Chattanooga Sewer Line

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After the success of last Saturdays “Slide the City” event, a representative for Chattanooga Public Works announced plans to keep the attraction in place for downtown sewer management and transportation. 

“We believe this is a great fun way for Chattanoogans to experience the thrills of what their waste feels like flowing down Broad Street while getting their slide on”, said Public Works official Carl Bowman.

While some downtown business owners and workers are repulsed by the sight of shit flowing down a 1000ft slip n slide in slidethecityChattanooga, many agree the liquid probably isn’t much cleaner than what was used on Saturday. 

Santorum fills the Chattanoogan Hotel at Republican fundraising event

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Republican symbol
Republican symbol
Santorum filled the Chattanoogan Hotel at the annual Lincoln Day Dinner yesterday evening – an annual fundraising dinner held by the Hamilton County Republican Party.

“Santorum was all over the place,” said attendee Byron Mellwood. “Santorum covered everything you could think of. The outpouring of Santorum caused quite a commotion in that room. You could see it on people’s faces.”

“Word travels quickly about Santorum, and people are going to spread it all around,” said Mellwood. “Santorum will be on everyone’s lips.”