In a move that critics are calling “a frivolous waste of the tax payers money”, Red Bank government officials have announced plans to bring back the uber-controversial traffic cameras, but this time in beautiful high definition.
“We believe a majority of the complaints stemmed from the low resolution images the previous cameras produced,” said Red Bank traffic videographer Steven Metz, holding a low quality black and white image of a Honda Civic running a red-light. “The good people of Red Bank can now rest assure their complaints were heard, and we have a solution in the form of jaw dropping 1080p quality traffic cameras.”
After years of complaints from business owners and Red Bank residents, the existing cameras were removed last January, and met with much celebration. Locals were shocked to learn of the enormous price tag that came along with the new high definition cameras, especially when previous ones failed to sale in an eBay auction.
I believe traffic law violators will appreciate the enhancements that come along with the new high definition cameras,” said Red Bank city representative Michael Shuman. “Not only will the mailed citation include a full color high resolution picture, but the violator will also receive a ravishing high definition Blu-Ray disc that includes a digital download for the desktop or handheld device.”
“We can only hope the threat of traffic cameras will not drive away potential customers,” said Red Bank small business owner Thomas Marr. “It is a shame they couldn’t have sprung for the 3-D option.”