After Republic Parking received criticism for sharply increasing its parking fee in downtown Chattanooga temporarily to $20 during the recent Ironman competition, it announced that it would now accept severed arms and legs from those unable to come up with the necessary cash.
“We overheard people saying that it cost an arm and a leg to park downtown during the Ironman weekend, so that gave us an idea,” said a Republic Parking representative. “If you don’t like our prices, or don’t want to give up any limbs, then just park in Red Bank and walk downtown, if you have any legs left.”
“We’ve added convenient refrigerated storage containers at each parking lot, so your severed limbs will remain fresh until we can sell them,” said the representative.
“For flexibility, we have different payment plans,” said the representative. “For example, instead of giving us an entire arm, if you have a party of four, then we only need a single finger from each person in your party.”
“That will buy you one hour of parking time,” said the representative.