After a marathon 7-hour City Council meeting on Zoom, including statements from over 250 citizens, the City Council scheduled an additional 143 7-hour Zoom meetings in order to hear all of the concerns from citizens regarding the police budget, after 10 days of protests and marches in the aftermath of George Floyd’s death.
“We’ve got thousands more statements to listen to, and we’ll listen to them all, by gum,” said one councilperson. “We’ve got a case of Diet Coke. We’ve got packs of NoDoz. We’ve even got those eye clamp things to force our eyes to stay open, like in the movie ‘A Clockwork Orange.'”
“We do want to suggest that people talk as fast as they can, and if possible, take speed-talking or auctioneer classes on the web,” said the councilperson.
“Also, try to be economical with your words,” said the councilperson. “Like, instead of saying, ‘police brutality is a motherfucker,’ you could simply say, ‘police brutality is a fucker,’ and save yourself two syllables.”