September 2020

I may have herpes, but at least I don’t have COVID-19 – by Twisty


As we head into month whatever of the pandemic shit of COVID-19, I am proud to say I have been coronavirus free. “How is this so Twisty?” Well, as I don’t require a condom, I do require a mask.

You see, doctors have been tellin us to keep 6ft away from each other to keep the coronavirus at bay. If you’ve lived in Chattanooga in the last few years, you’ll know some private information about myself has been posted around the city. “Twisty got herpes” is one of gigcities most popular tags, along with “CARTA” and “trump69”. So with this type of reputation, it’s easy to social distance!

I do think Dr Fauci should look into distributing herpes instead of a vaccine since it appears to keep the covid away. Herpes is here now, while a vaccine is months or ever years away!

So next time you see “Twisty has…” spray painted under a bridge or on a trash can somewhere, you can rest assure it’s not COVID-19.