Samuel L. Jackson (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:

Samuel L. Jackson addresses motherf-cking snake problem at Brainerd High School

Samuel L. Jackson (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:
Samuel L. Jackson (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:

One week ago, it was reported that Brainerd High School experienced sightings of snakes, after a replacement of the facility’s heating and air conditioning system had spurred rodents to enter the school to search for food, followed by snakes who hunted for rodents.

One former Chattanooga resident has been unhappy and vocal about the situation, prompting the Hamilton County School system to take quick action with exterminators to eliminate the snake problem.

“Enough is enough,” said actor Samuel L. Jackson, who was raised in Chattanooga. “I have had it with these motherf-cking snakes in this motherf-cking school!”

Some residents opposed the use of exterminators to kill the snakes, citing alternate, more humane methods, but Jackson expressed a hardline stance against the snakes.

“Yes they deserve to die,” said Jackson. “And I hope they burn in hell!”

Jackson, who serves as narrator for an orientation film for the new Chattanooga History Center slated to open in 2014, offered to help with the extermination efforts himself.

“I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers,” said Jackson. “And you will know my name is Samuel L. Motherf-cking Jackson when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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