Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Inset: King's Lodge.

Royal honeymoon mistakenly booked at King’s Lodge


Amid speculation regarding where newlyweds Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would spend their honeymoon, it was revealed that in a colossal error, their matrimonial vacation was booked at King’s Lodge in Chattanooga.

According to a spokesperson, the hotel was booked after the royal family’s travel agent read a glowing article in the New York Times about Chattanooga and, in haste, selected King’s Lodge based on its regal-sounding name before looking at reviews on the Trip Advisor website, which featured comments such as “Dirty worst hotel ever” and “Crack and roach infested.”

A cursory amount of research would have also revealed that King’s Lodge was turned into an apartment complex last year.

“Cor blimey! I deserve a bollocking over this cock up, which should have been easy peasy lemon squeezy,” said Basil Portendorfer, the royal family’s travel agent, while cleaning his monocle with a handkerchief. “Maybe I should have tried Lamar’s Motel.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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