Pool table (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/bR26Hv)

Coaches believed accused Ooltewah basketball players “just really bad at pool”

Pool table (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/bR26Hv)
Pool table (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/bR26Hv)

Before charges against Ooltewah High School boys’ basketball coaches and athletic director were sent today to the Hamilton County Grand Jury, due to the failure to report suspected child abuse that occurred last December, including the alleged sexual assault of a freshman by three of his teammates involving a pool cue stick, the coaches stated that they initially believed that the basketball players were “just really bad at pool.”

“We didn’t report any child abuse to the Department of Children’s Services, because we just thought they were playing some pool,” said one of the officials. “Statistically, if you play a lot of pool, it’s just a matter of time before a cue stick accidentally ends up where the sun don’t shine.”

Critics have pointed out the “code of silence” perpetuated by school administrators within a culture of negligence, to discourage faculty from reporting child abuse.

“Look, these players are really good at basketball, but frankly, they absolutely suck at pool,” said another official. “It’s an honest mistake.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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