Gatlinburg Police Detective Rodney Burns

Gatlinburg detective to host new TV show “Kids Do the Stupidest Things”


Gatlinburg Police Detective Rodney Burns, who became a controversial figure in the Ooltewah High School basketball hazing case for his statement that what happened was not sexual assault but “something stupid kids do,” announced that he accepted a job as a host of a new television show called “Kids Do the Stupidest Things.”

“It’s going to be a cross between ‘Kids Say the Darndest Things,’ ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos,’ and [the prison drama] ‘Oz,'” said Burns. “Three of my favorite comedy shows.”

Burns was sharply criticized by many in the community, including Police Chief Fred Fletcher and State Senator Todd Gardenhire, for his viewpoint that rape must involve sexual gratification, which does not align with Tennessee law.

“You’re going to see a lot of horsing around and shenanigans on my new show,” said Burns. “Get a load of those stupid kids!”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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