God puts Wysong’s prayer for Anderson’s recall at bottom of priority list


With the effort to recall District 7 City Councilman Chris Anderson currently lagging behind the goal to gather around 1,600 signatures, having only gathered around 300 signatures so far, Chattanooga Tea Party member Charles Wysong, who is aiding the recall effort, turned to God for help, saying, “Prayer and fasting is in order…My prayer is ‘For Your name’s sake, give us the victory in this recall of Chris Anderson.'”

After receiving Wysong’s prayer, God reportedly said, “What is this bullshit? Who does this Me-damn yahoo think he is?”

While the recall effort claims that Anderson isn’t adequately doing his job, allies of Anderson believe that he is being targeted by conservatives because he is openly gay.

“Really, are you f-cking kidding me?” said God, before rolling his eyes. “There’s political turmoil and war, children starving to death and hundreds of thousands of people dying of malaria, and you’re praying for this?”

God sighed.

“OK, well, put it on the list, way down at the very bottom,” said God to his personal assistant, Marilyn Monroe. “I’ll evaluate it when I get around to it.”

Wysong’s prayer was numbered # 792,841,551,949,277 on God’s priority list, right below “Prayer by 10-year-old Benny Jannin in Salina, Kansas asking for a real lightsaber and a pet dinosaur.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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