Cannabis plant (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:

Hamilton County Grand Jury recommends legalizing pot for those on jury duty

Cannabis plant (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:
Cannabis plant (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:
Earlier this week, the Hamilton County Grand Jury, consisting of randomly selected residents who serve a four-month term, released its Concurrent and Regular Grand Jury Reports containing observations and recommendations for the Hamilton County Criminal Court.

Among the comments, such as those pointing out that “educational programs that are provided for the [Silverdale Detention Facility] inmates are essential” and that “law enforcement as well as correctional officers…seemed more than just a little over weight,” was one suggestion that has been gaining a lot of attention locally over the last few days: legalizing small amounts of marijuana for those on jury duty.

Last year, Colorado and Washington legalized marijuana for recreational use, although this is in conflict with federal laws, which still classify cannabis as an illegal controlled substance.

The Grand Jury reports explained that jury duty is a long, often demanding service, with juries seeing typically between 500 and 600 cases in a term, several of which involve intense and disturbing circumstances involving homicide or rape.

Legalizing marijuana in small amounts for jury members would allow them to “take the edge off” of the often stressful jury duty service, allowing them to think more clearly and see more acutely with their mind’s eyes.

Just “one big-ass bowl of some primo Acapulco Gold” would be sufficient for the entire jury, according to the reports.

The reports also recommended that the Hamilton County Court System should provide to the jury each day either a case of Krystal burgers or crunchy Taco Bell tacos, in case the jury got the munchies.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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