Alan Golds Nightclub

Manny Rico makes amends with Chris Anderson after hot night of dancing at Alan Golds

Alan Golds Nightclub
Alan Golds Nightclub

Former Chattanooga City Councilman Manny Rico sounded like a sore loser after his contender, the openly gay candidate Chris Anderson, defeated Rico for the District 7 City Council seat in the election earlier this year.

Rico stated, “Maybe we want a gay councilman. That’s what he ran on. That’s what disappoints me the most. It seems like we’re losing our morals,” as documented by the Chattanooga Times Free Press in a March 6 article.

According to staff reports, Rico made amends with Anderson early Sunday morning after the two spent a long night partying together at Alan Golds, a Chattanooga dance club that is known for being welcome to gay, bisexual, transgendered and straight clientele.

“I was completely wrong and just way out of line,” said Rico, wearing a torn Morrissey t-shirt while riding on the shoulders of a shirtless, muscle-bound black dancer with a shaved head. “Chris Anderson is a man who knows where it’s at.”

Rico and Anderson reportedly buried the hatchet after inadvertently meeting each other on the Alan Golds dance floor, right after Erasure’s “Always” began playing on the club’s sound system, and the two found common ground over a shared appreciation of the song.

“Jesus said to ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself,’ and I needed to be reminded of that. We are all brothers and sisters, after all,” said Rico to all present at Alan Golds, earning enthusiastic applause from a group of women wearing long, sequined evening gowns with conspicuously large Adam’s apples.

Anderson, wearing a tight, neon pink mesh vest, smiled and nodded as Rico held Anderson’s hand high in the air, striking a pose of strength and solidarity.

“Maybe it’s just the J├Ąger bombs talking, but I am thinking of changing my company, Rico Monuments, so that it is dedicated to making monuments to brotherhood,” said Rico, just past the 4 AM hour. “Chris Anderson may be gay by birth, but he is fabulous by choice.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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