Corey Smith (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source:

Corey Smith to debut new song “Firefighters Are Pussies” at Track 29

Corey Smith (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source:
Corey Smith (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source:

Country-rock singer/songwriter Corey Smith and Chattanooga music venue Track 29 had a rocky start to their relationship, with his September 2, 2011 show being cut short after Smith began to play his controversial fan-favorite “F-ck the Po-Po” despite being asked before the show by the venue owners to not play that song.

Soon afterward, Smith penned a new track entitled “Chattanooga” about the incident, but since then Smith and Track 29 have buried the hatchet, with Smith even returning to Track 29 for a second performance one year after his first and releasing the concert as the album Live in Chattanooga.

At a press conference yesterday afternoon, Smith announced that he would make a third appearance this summer at Track 29 to debut several new songs, including the track “Firefighters Are Pussies.”

“I just want to make it perfectly clear that any controversy is long behind us,” said Smith. “I am proud of these new songs, and I believe that Track 29 is the perfect venue for me to present them to the world.”

When asked about the song “Firefighters Are Pussies,” Smith said, “I have nothing but respect for the good, honest, hard-working firefighters who protect us and save lives. But when I was eleven years old, I had a run-in with one bad apple, who took away my sparklers and bottle rockets at a Fourth-of-July barbecue.”

“He was a pussy,” Smith added.

“Firefighters Are Pussies” will be the first single off Smith’s upcoming album, entitled 9/11 Was an Inside Job, which will include other tracks such as “The Moon Landing Was Faked,” “Charles Manson Was a Spy for the F.B.I.” and “Joe Biden Was Born in Canada.”

This article is satire and fictional.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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