{"id":2366,"date":"2020-02-09T11:45:22","date_gmt":"2020-02-09T16:45:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/?p=2366"},"modified":"2020-02-09T11:45:29","modified_gmt":"2020-02-09T16:45:29","slug":"monday-forecast-sunny-70-degrees-then-snow-floods-blood-rain-plagues-of-locusts-frogs-chicken-parts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/2020\/02\/09\/monday-forecast-sunny-70-degrees-then-snow-floods-blood-rain-plagues-of-locusts-frogs-chicken-parts\/","title":{"rendered":"Monday forecast: sunny 70 degrees, then snow, floods, blood rain, plagues of locusts, frogs, chicken parts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Forecasters are predicting Monday’s weather in Chattanooga to include sunny, 70-degree weather<\/a>, then a snowstorm<\/a>, then flash flooding<\/a>, then a torrent of blood rain, then plagues of locusts, frogs and chicken parts<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Don’t stow away your galoshes just yet! It’s been a wild week, and it’s just going to get wilder,” said local weather forecaster Pat Valdasto. “Bring your umbrella, because we’re expecting to see locusts and frogs and random chicken parts, just flying around everywhere.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I’m just a meteorologist, and there’s no need to panic,” said Valdasto. “But in my expert opinion, I think God or Shiva or Cthulhu is angry with us, and we are all going to die horrible, painful deaths soon.”\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Forecasters are predicting Monday’s weather in Chattanooga to include sunny, 70-degree weather, then a snowstorm, then flash flooding, then a torrent of blood rain, then plagues of locusts, frogs and chicken parts. “Don’t stow away your galoshes just yet! It’s been a wild week, and it’s just going to get wilder,” said local weather forecaster Pat Valdasto. “Bring your umbrella, because we’re expecting to see locusts and frogs and random chicken parts, just flying around everywhere.” “I’m just a meteorologist, and there’s no need to panic,” said Valdasto. “But in my expert opinion, I think God or Shiva or Cthulhu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2365,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2366"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2366"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2366\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}