Scenic City Supper Club<\/a>.”<\/p>\nNo expense will be spared for the upcoming meal, which will feature a distinguished 19-course meal, including dishes such as braised quail uvulas with a pickled placenta chutney and a blood orange sauce, made using a reduction of Bourbon barrel-aged Appalachian dip cup froth and fresh-squeezed marionberry juice.<\/p>\n
Another of Chef Ristmussen’s creations uses roasted jackfruit that has been regurgitated by angry civets, drizzled with Hungarian bone marrow butter and specks of radioactive platinum, and the main course will be creamed cocottes prepared with a modified sous vide method that uses ostrich bladders instead of plastic bags.<\/p>\n
However, Ristmussen has saved the best for last: a truly artisanal hand job for both men and women.<\/p>\n
“The exquisite hand job we will offer will be an extraordinary sensual experience, far beyond some sleazy lap dance at Diamonds and Lace,” said Ristmussen. “Our skilled hand artists have been trained at some of the finest rub-and-tug institutes around the world.”<\/p>\n
Ristmussen described how each hand artist will wear gloves made from 9th century Chinese silk from the Tang dynasty, and at completion, each diner’s drippings will be captured in a special cashmere handcloth, personally embroidered with the diner’s initials.<\/p>\n
“Everyone loves a happy ending,” said Chef Ristmussen. “This isn’t just ‘farm-to-table,’ it’s ‘farm-to-table-to-trousers,’ and truly, we’re here to turn organic dining into orgasmic dining.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A popular, local supper club just took the Chattanooga dining experience to the next level with its announcement that its next meal, limited to 20 diners charged $995 each, would include a hand job administered during the final dessert course. “I got the idea for the artisanal hand job after hearing a person balk at the price of a previous supper club experience,” said Chef Kelly Ristmussen, the founder of the Conspicuous Consumption Supper Club (CCSC), at a press conference. “The person said, jokingly, ‘For that price, this meal better include a hand job.’” “Then I thought, ‘Why not?’” said<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1988,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1989"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1988"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}