{"id":1510,"date":"2016-04-29T20:19:54","date_gmt":"2016-04-30T00:19:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/?p=1510"},"modified":"2016-04-29T20:19:54","modified_gmt":"2016-04-30T00:19:54","slug":"jack-bauer-to-play-revelry-room-eliminate-gang-violence-in-24-hours","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/2016\/04\/29\/jack-bauer-to-play-revelry-room-eliminate-gang-violence-in-24-hours\/","title":{"rendered":"Jack Bauer to play Revelry Room, eliminate gang violence in 24 hours"},"content":{"rendered":"

At a press conference this afternoon, the City of Chattanooga announced that it had hired agent Jack Bauer for a 24-hour period starting Sunday evening, during which he will perform a set of country music at the Revelry Room<\/a> and also solve Chattanooga’s gang violence problem by any means necessary.<\/p>\n

“Although people want solutions quickly, it takes time and a huge amount of effort to fight a complex issue such as gang violence,” said a representative for the city, Kim Lennox, in the wake of several shootings and homicides in the last two weeks. “Unless, of course, you can get Jack Bauer on the job.”<\/p>\n

“With Jack, all you need is a boatload of ammo and twenty-four hours,” said Lennox. “Sure, Jack might get frustrated a few times and shout out ‘Damn it, Chloe!’ and torture a few people in the process, but he always comes through.”<\/p>\n

In preparation for Jack Bauer’s arrival, the City of Chattanooga purchased $1 million worth of cameras<\/a> in order to film Bauer in action, with the footage intended to be broadcast on TV.<\/p>\n

“At the Revelry Room, he’ll rock you hard,” said Lennox. “Then, on the streets of Chattanooga, he’ll rock those gang members even harder.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At a press conference this afternoon, the City of Chattanooga announced that it had hired agent Jack Bauer for a 24-hour period starting Sunday evening, during which he will perform a set of country music at the Revelry Room and also solve Chattanooga’s gang violence problem by any means necessary. “Although people want solutions quickly, it takes time and a huge amount of effort to fight a complex issue such as gang violence,” said a representative for the city, Kim Lennox, in the wake of several shootings and homicides in the last two weeks. “Unless, of course, you can get<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1509,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1510"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1510"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1510\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1509"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}