{"id":1151,"date":"2014-10-29T20:07:28","date_gmt":"2014-10-30T00:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/?p=1151"},"modified":"2014-10-29T20:07:28","modified_gmt":"2014-10-30T00:07:28","slug":"warehouse-row-opening-earlier-to-accommodate-influx-of-elderly-hipster-mall-walkers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/2014\/10\/29\/warehouse-row-opening-earlier-to-accommodate-influx-of-elderly-hipster-mall-walkers\/","title":{"rendered":"Warehouse Row opening earlier to accommodate influx of elderly hipster mall walkers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Due to the opening of popular hipster clothing stores Anthropology and J Crew, officials from Warehouse Row announced the mall will begin opening at 5 am to accommodate the influx of elderly mall walkers, who will no doubt be of the hipster persuasion.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/hipsterwarehouserow.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-1150 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/hipsterwarehouserow-300x131.jpg\" alt=\"hipsterwarehouserow\" width=\"300\" height=\"131\" srcset=\"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/hipsterwarehouserow-300x131.jpg 300w, https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/hipsterwarehouserow.jpg 741w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>\u201cWhile we welcome our new\u00a0early risers,\u201d said Warehouse Row spokesmen Shirley Thompson, \u201cno plans are in place to open a Hardees or Golden Corral.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Officials believe new kiosks of gluten free Branch\u2019s candy will attract\u00a0new elderly hipster mall walkers, who will hang around and reminisce about Bob Hope, before he was popular.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Due to the opening of popular hipster clothing stores Anthropology and J Crew, officials from Warehouse Row announced the mall will begin opening at 5 am to accommodate the influx of elderly mall walkers, who will no doubt be of the hipster persuasion. \u201cWhile we welcome our new\u00a0early risers,\u201d said Warehouse Row spokesmen Shirley Thompson, \u201cno plans are in place to open a Hardees or Golden Corral.\u201d Officials believe new kiosks of gluten free Branch\u2019s candy will attract\u00a0new elderly hipster mall walkers, who will hang around and reminisce about Bob Hope, before he was popular.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1150,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1150"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chattanoogabystander.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}