Local experts say that the technology to leave a garbage can standing upright after it had been emptied by an automated lift mechanism is still at least ten years away, despite billions of dollars spent on decades of intensive research.
“Believe me, the area’s best and brightest scientists have been cranking away on this problem for a while,” said UTC professor Dr. Kelly Offenbrick. “We have been working tons of overtime hours while hepped up on energy drinks, sacrificing our sanity and personal lives to find a solution. I personally am on my fourth divorce.”
Analysts say that whoever comes up with this technology for automated side-loader garbage trucks is practically guaranteed a Nobel Prize.
“It’s like developing the polio vaccine, or putting a man on the moon,” said Offenbrick. “It’s the most important problem we are facing today, and it’s not like you can just have a person get out of the truck and put a can upright if it’s on its side.”
