After Rep. Chuck Fleischmann (R-Ooltewah) told the Chattanooga Times Free Press that he will “never” hold another town hall meeting, he clarified that his reason behind the decision was that he was a pussy.
“Folks, I’m just going to admit it. I am a pussy,” said Fleischmann. “I am just a huge pussy, like a big useless, floppy pile of day-old roast beef.”
“We have a lot of questions for Fleischmann,” said Chattanooga resident Dolores Ruggem. “Many are about the awful ‘One Big Beautiful Bill’ that he voted in favor of, which will increase the national debt by $4 trillion and which is opposed by 59% of Americans according to a Fox News poll, but we also want to know which variety of Vagisil he uses.”
“Just thinking about having a town hall meeting and talking with my constituents, some of whom are just a bunch of big stupid meanies, makes my vagina hurt,” said Fleischmann, before beginning to pout and suck his thumb.
