After the McKamey Animal Center announced that it was pausing spay and neuter operations due to overcrowding, local abstinence advocacy groups announced that they would be stepping up their efforts to fill the void.
“It’s our time to shine, fellow warriors for Christ!” said local abstinence advocate Sheri Snydell. “We’ll teach these critters that it’s ok to wait until entering the sacred covenant of marriage before doing anything X-rated!”
Although the federal government spends up to $110 million per year on abstinence-only-until-marriage programs, critics have pointed out that they can be misleading and even harmful, denying access to lifesaving information about reproductive health.
“Sure, it might seem cute when cartoon dogs share a strand of spaghetti, then coyly turn away when their lips touch, but that’s just a step away from intense leg-humping and a gateway to hardcore, sinful sexual activity,” said Snydell. “A feline that lurks in urban passageways looking for lust is just like an alley cat on the prowl.”
