Chattanooga survivalists and doomsday “preppers” expressed disappointment, after the 2024 U.S.A. presidential election results came in, that there wouldn’t be a civil war.
“You can be sure that if the lamestream media said that Trump lost this time, then the election was certainly rigged, and I’ll be right there in D.C. in January with my guns,” said local survivalist Seymour Ondtent. “But now, it turns out that I got all this camouflage for nothing. I even got 24 pairs of camo boxer briefs, for crying out loud.”
“Ever since bump stocks became legal again, I’ve been itching to try these out on something other than cases of Bud Light,” said Ondtent. “You know, something that moves. Something that whines about social justice or some bullshit. No trigger warning here, ha ha. Oh well, that’s not going to happen, I guess.”
“I am kind of regretting paying $5000 for this machine that freeze-dries food,” said local prepper Silvie Teabaker. “Now I’ve got a basement full of vacuum-packed desiccated veggies, and eating them is like chewing the crotch out of a rag doll.”