Dunlap “Unvax 4 old Penthouse Magazines” sweepstakes beginning soon

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After Chattanooga Mayor Tim Kelly announced sweepstakes giving vaccinated individuals a chance to win $1000, a representative from Chattanooga area city Dunlap, TN announced their own sweepstakes giving unvaccinated individuals a chance to win roughly $1000 worth of dirty old Penthouse magazines found under a local trailer.

Experts believe the giveaway might be a waste of perfectly good old Penthouse magazines as Sequatchie County has one of the lowest vaccination rates in the state of Tennessee.

“Hell yeah if I can get my hand on these filthy titty magazines just by not taking no Bill Gates Fauci tracking device, you can sign me up, or not sign up, or whatever gets me them things,” explained Dunlap resident, Dusty Shitkicker.

Sources say the small percentage of residents in the area who happened to get the vaccine were seen trying to “siphon the Fauci curse out of my asshole with an old garden hose” just for a chance to snag the magazine collection prize.

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