Alabama state legislators passed a controversial bill today declaring that human life begins when a stork kisses a bee in a cabbage patch.
“According to our best male scientists, who have a deep understanding of the human reproductive system, a baby is created when a man and a woman love each other very much, and they hold hands,” said state legislator Bud Holleren. “Watching from Heaven, Jesus sees this and sends a stork down to earth, where it kisses a honeybee in a cabbage patch, and wham, you’ve got yourself a baby – a precious little sugar dumpling.”
“Human life begins right at that moment, in the cabbage patch,” said Holleren. “Someone told me you can make a baby by carving a hole into a head of cabbage and then sticking your wang-dang-doodle in the hole, but I tried it, and although it was fun, it didn’t work.”
