TDOT advising everyone to just stay home during I-75/24 split construction

This week during a press conference discussing the plans of the upcoming I-75 and I-24 split construction, a representative for the Tennessee Department of Transportation announced that motorists should probably just stay home during the project. The construction, which will begin this summer, will bring devastation to the area that residents haven’t seen since the tornados of 2011.

“It would be wise for everyone to just stay at home and wait for the shitstorm to pass,” explained TDOT spokesman Scott Browns. “You could take an alternate route, but that would be like cutting off an arm instead of a leg.”

“I’ve already quit my job and stocked up on ramen and powdered milk in preparation,” explained East Ridge resident Jason Matthews. “I would be sitting in traffic from 8 to 5 anyway, unless I want to do something stupid like wake up at 5am.”

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