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Golden Corral’s “Pay Your Age” promotion fails to draw crowds


Golden Corral restaurants in the Chattanooga area failed to draw huge crowds today for its one-day-only “Pay Your Age” promotion.

“We really didn’t think this one through,” said restaurant manager Pat Sanesca. “We should’ve known that our core customers are all senior citizens in their 60s, 70s, 80s or older.”

This came on the heels of a similar promotion from Build-A-Bear Workshop, including the location in the Hamilton Place Mall, which allowed customers today only to purchase a stuffed bear for the price of the child’s age, which could be as little as $1 for a one-year-old.

A victim of its own success, the offer eventually prompted Build-A-Bear Workshop locations to shut down lines after overwhelmingly large numbers of people came out to take advantage of the promotion.

“Mr. Leslie Jenkins here is one of our most loyal customers,” said Sanesca, who pointed to a man sitting alone, in front of an empty plate. “Mr. Jenkins was born during a long-ago era when ‘Leslie’ was mostly a name for boys.”

“Hope you enjoyed your supper! That’ll be $85, sir,” said Sanesca.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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