Amazon passes up East Ridge for HQ2

After much deliberation by Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, it was unfortunately announced that East Ridge would not be on the list to get Amazon’s second headquarters.

The heartbreaking news was delivered by East Ridge Mayor Earl Ridge to its citizens as they tearfully retreated into the cities variety of pawn shops, title pawn shops, adult stores, and abandoned buildings.

“The thought of being within a mile or so of Bass Pro shop, fast food chain restaurants, and a park that constantly floods sounds fantastic, but we have decided to pass on building HQ2 in East Ridge at this time,” explained Bezos in a call to Mayor Ridge. “We will keep you in mind when we reach HQ643523 or so.”

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