Women's March on Chattanooga, Jan 21, 2017

Trump takes credit for local jobs created to protest Trump


President Donald Trump took credit, in his inaugural speech, for creating tens of thousands of local jobs that are directly related to protesting Trump.

“Believe me, this is all part of my economic plan for America,” said Trump. “I want all of these protest signs, t-shirts and hoodies to be American made, not in some Chinese sweatshop.”

“When you burn effigies of me in the streets, I want those to be top-quality effigies, made by American hands from American cotton,” said Trump.

“Take for example the Women’s March on Chattanooga,” said Trump about the march happening today at 3 p.m. at Coolidge Park. “Protesting is tiring work, and protesters will stimulate the Chattanooga economy by buying food, coffee and post-march massages from nearby businesses.”

“I’ve known all along that the more outrageous things I say and the more unethical things I do, the more people will protest, and protesting is part of the new economy,” said Trump.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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