Urban planning experts have warned city officials that the upcoming closing of the Main Street nightclub Chuck’s, a.k.a. “The Condom Shop,” would leave a “condom desert” in the Southside after October 22.
Much like an urban “food desert,” which is a location that lacks convenient access to grocery stores, a “condom desert” would be a location that lacks ample access to prophylactics.
“Let’s say you are a young, single male who is partying on the Southside late one night, and you find yourself getting hot-and-heavy with a honey who is ready to go,” said urban planner Grace Solvowitz. “You’ve got to wrap that junk. But where do you go, after Chuck’s is gone? And let’s not forget dental dams, for the ladies.”
“In this day and age of diseases, coitus interruptus is not an option,” said Solvowitz, who then began to sing the chorus of “Don’t Pull Your Love,” the song popularized by Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds.
