Incline Railway hits fifth Pokemon Go player

Just two weeks after the release of the popular cell phone application Pokemon Go, a spokesmen from the Incline Railway says the train smashed into its fifth victim this afternoon. The tragedy comes after numerous reports from around the globe of players being hit in the streets by moving vehicles from being sadly pre-occupied by a smartphone video game.

Sources say all five victims trespassed onto the track, rudely unaware and carefree of friends and family yearning for time spent together to celebrate life and our existence instead of having their head buried in a video game on a cell phone.

“One minute you’re in a trance trying to catch a Pikachu on fenced-off railway, the next you’re somehow hit by a train traveling at 9 miles per hour,” explained Incline spokesmen Jeff Darwin.

City officials are taking measures to keep tragic events like this from happening again. Plans are in the works for splitting city bikes lanes into half Pokemon Go lanes, but they’ll probably be hit anyway as most people still drive there.

Previous Story

Local Dems seek more Wilkinsons for State Senate race

Next Story

Chattanooga Whiskey just one loyalty card punch away from free building

Latest from Culture