The department store and supermarket chain Walmart began offering wine in its Tennessee stores today in order to let customers dull the pain of having to shop at Walmart.
“This is great news,” said local shopper Blake Wolfhund. “Whenever I shop at Walmart on a Saturday afternoon, after a few minutes of enduring screaming, out-of-control children or fashion atrocities from people who just don’t give a shit about looking presentable, I think to myself, ‘Jesus Christ, I could really use a drink.'”
In conjunction with the wine-sale roll-out, Walmart has offered ideas for unique food pairings involving snack food favorites.
“Some fancy-pants wine shop might have some snooty wine and cheese tasting,” said store manager Dale Misuca. “Instead, we suggest that you try ‘Wine and Cheetos’ or ‘Wine and Cheez-Its’ for a culinary experience on a budget.”
