Bonnaroo (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:

Riverbend makes deal to present 2016 Bonnaroo lineup 25 years from now

Bonnaroo (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:
Bonnaroo (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source:

Organizers of the annual 9-day Chattanooga music festival Riverbend have signed a historic deal to present every act performing at the Bonnaroo festival this weekend at a future Riverbend Festival, 25 years from now.

“We just saved ourselves a ton of effort,” said head Riverbend organizer Ginger Dewarr. “We can’t afford those fancy-pants Bonnaroo headliners today, but since we locked in this deal, we’re paying pennies on the dollar to have them play Riverbend in 2041.”

“It’s kind of like buying day-old bread for half-price,” said Dewarr.

The Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival in Manchester, Tenn. begins today and features many established artists such as Pearl Jam, Jason Isbell and LCD Soundsystem alongside hot, newer acts like Haim, CHVRCHES and Tame Impala.

Riverbend begins this weekend with headliners who packed arenas decades ago, including Heart, REO Speedwagon, 38 Special and Blood, Sweat & Tears.

“Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam is 51 years old now, and he’s headlining Bonnaroo,” said Dewarr. “How thrilling and more meaningful will it be to hear him sing, ‘Oh I’m still alive’ when he’s 76 years old, at Riverbend?”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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