Restroom sign

New Tenn. bill makes transgender students wear adult diapers


After the “bathroom bill” passed in a Tennessee House panel that would require transgender students to use bathrooms that correspond with the gender on their birth certificates, new legislation was proposed that would make transgender students wear adult diapers instead of using bathroom facilities.

Civil rights and LGBT advocacy groups have opposed the bathroom bill, which has also raised concerns about the possibility of losing federal education funding, and the new “diaper bill” has proven to be even more controversial.

“We just want everyone to be comfortable,” said Rep. Pat Augusteen, the House sponsor of the diaper bill. “I believe that it would be hard to take a tinkle if RuPaul is standing next to you at a row of urinals.”

“Besides, think of the convenience and all the time those transgender students would save,” said Augusteen. “They could drop a load, right during a class, and just keep on taking notes like nothing happened.”

“This isn’t like having separate water fountains,” said Augusteen. “It’s like transgender people would each be getting their own personal, portable water fountain.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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