After news that thousands of Syrian refugees would be making their way to the United States, much to the chagrin of many southern residents, a representative of the Syrian refugee placement department announced plans have been scraped to settle many folks in Chattanooga. All due to the recent closure of the local Noodles and Co restaurant.
Many hoped local attractions, such as the aquarium, incline, and endless gang violence would bring the displaced human beings to the city.
“Escaping our war torn country is possibly the greatest thing that has happened to my family and me” explained Syrian refugee Victor Sayid. “Too bad Chattanooga has become a shit hole where I cannot score some delicious noodles.”