Hot air balloons (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source:

Food City tests grocery delivery via hot air balloon

Hot air balloons (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source:
Hot air balloons (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source:

Supermarket chain Food City tested a new grocery delivery service that utilizes hot air balloons earlier today in the Chattanooga region, where it had recently acquired and converted 29 Bi-Lo supermarkets.

This revolutionary new service takes Food City to another level, after it had previously offered its GoCart Curbside Pickup service at select locations in other markets.

Using its online store, customers select items to be delivered and lay out a cushioned, individually numbered landing pad in the household’s vicinity, over which delivery personnel carefully maneuver their hot-air balloons, weather permitting, for the grocery drop-offs.

Chattanooga is no stranger to aerial innovations, with Amazon’s PrimePult catapult-powered delivery service and Bike Chattanooga’s jetpack rental stations finding success.

If the delivery service turns out to be a success, then Food City executives hinted that they might offer a service directed toward immobile, morbidly obese customers who can lie on their backs and have food dropped directly into their mouths from hot air balloons.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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