The artisanal, high-end coffee shop Grounds For Divorce announced that it had banned all hipsters from entering its premises in a well-thought-out plan.
“Nobody wearing a vintage t-shirt or neon plastic sunglasses or carrying a book by Jacques Lacan or Chuck Palahniuk is welcome here,” said a spokesperson for Grounds For Divorce.
“Hey, all you guys wearing skinny jeans: you look like fucking idiots,” said the spokesperson. “Go drink a PBR somewhere else.”
“Who would want to enjoy a delicious cup of coffee while surrounded by a bunch of trendy fuckers, anyway?” said the spokesperson, whose words echoed through the empty coffee shop.