Chattanooga city officials announced at a press conference this afternoon that the city would pursue plans to create a giant commuter waterslide, connecting downtown and the Enterprise South industrial park.
“Once again, Chattanooga is leading the way,” said Chattanooga Transportation Director Martha Hearrin. “It’s a safe, economical and green method of transportation that just makes sense, in this day and age.”
“Downtown residents can get to and from work without using a car, and what’s more fun than a waterslide?” said Hearrin.
Hearrin mentioned that the inspiration for the idea of a commuter waterslide came after hearing about the “Slide the City” event scheduled for July 25, which will convert over 1,000 feet of Chattanooga’s downtown streets into a giant waterslide.
“Screw light rail,” said Hearrin. “Buses and cars can go bite a dick. Waterslides are where it’s at.”