Commuter waterslide to link downtown, Enterprise South

Commuter waterslide (Images modified under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Sources: flic.kr/p/5ME1cW and flic.kr/p/pbCHiv)

Chattanooga city officials announced at a press conference this afternoon that the city would pursue plans to create a giant commuter waterslide, connecting downtown and the Enterprise South industrial park.

“Once again, Chattanooga is leading the way,” said Chattanooga Transportation Director Martha Hearrin. “It’s a safe, economical and green method of transportation that just makes sense, in this day and age.”

“Downtown residents can get to and from work without using a car, and what’s more fun than a waterslide?” said Hearrin.

Hearrin mentioned that the inspiration for the idea of a commuter waterslide came after hearing about the “Slide the City” event scheduled for July 25, which will convert over 1,000 feet of Chattanooga’s downtown streets into a giant waterslide.

“Screw light rail,” said Hearrin. “Buses and cars can go bite a dick. Waterslides are where it’s at.”

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