Friends of the Festival, the presenters of the annual Riverbend Music Festival, have announced that they guarantee that this year’s festival, which runs from June 6 until June 14, will suck at least 15% less than in previous years.
“We have been paying attention to your comments, angry and confused phone calls and emails, and satire, and we have worked extra hard this year so that Riverbend sucks less than before,” said Ginger Dewarr, head festival organizer. “Instead of ’80s one-hit wonders, we have made sure that our ’80s acts have no fewer than two hits.”
One of the festival’s victories was securing a set by Widespread Panic, a band of huge stature in the jam-band genre which has a clause in its contracts that says it cannot play festivals that completely suck.
