Tacos (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/aBfoBr)

Twenty-seven new Mexican restaurants to open in downtown area

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Tacos (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/aBfoBr)
Tacos (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/aBfoBr)

After the recent opening of three new Mexican restaurants in the vicinity of Miller Plaza – El Macho Taco, Mexiville and the second location of Taqueria Jalisco – it was announced that 27 more Mexican restaurants would open in downtown Chattanooga in the next month.

“This news is a boon for fans of Mexican cuisine like myself,” said resident Cara Helfgott. “Previously, we had to depend on only several dozen Mexican restaurants in the area, like La Altena, Cancun, Ovalle’s, Mojo Burrito in St. Elmo or the various taquerias on Main Street. Or north of the river, Taco Mamacita, Poblano’s, Taconooga, Las Margaritas, El Meson, plus assorted franchises.”

Reportedly, every owner of each of the 27 new Mexican restaurants was completely oblivious to the knowledge that the other restaurants were opening in the same proximity at the same time.

Among the 27 new restaurants to be opening soon are Haught Tamale, Let’s Taco ‘Bout Love, Monsters of Guac, Omnipotent Taco, Sporty Taco, Baby Taco, Posh Taco, Erudite Taco, Pink Taco, Cinco de Cuatro, Burritos As Big As Your Ass, Picnic at Hanging Guac, Persona Non Enchilada, Ceviche Guevara, Juan of Us Gooble Gobble, Rend Your Heart And Nacho Garments (Joel 2:13), Chimichanga’s Revenge, Ye Olde Taqueria, Everything’s a Taco!, Medulla Enchilada and Getting Jalapeno Grill.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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