Bryan College requires staff to sacrifice first-born sons.

In a news release by Bryan College President Stephen Livesay, it was announced that all staff members must vow to sacrifice their first-born sons to stay employed by the school. Livesay explained the new requirement comes with Bryan’s new “bible or bust” policy.

Many believe the policy stems from the recent public Creationism vs. Evolution debates, featuring Creationist Museum founder Ken Ham and TV personality Bill Nye.

“I expect all faculty and staff to conduct themselves in a biblical manner, and we’re taking this shit old testament”, said Livesay.

Bryan staff has been given a March 31st deadline, in which they must bring their first-born sons to the school’s sacrifice grounds and complete the offering to President Livesay.


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