Eastgate Town Center to add indoor landfill

3227666790_dfdb0b5ee2A spokesman for the Eastgate Town Center announced today the facility will become home for a new large scale landfill for disposing waste from local Chattanooga trash services. Eastgate Town Center, formerly known as Eastgate Mall, is a one million plus square foot facility that officials believe will be “ideal” for housing waste running over from existing Chattanooga landfills.

“Why not cut the shit and officially call a dump a dump,” said Eastgate spokesman Jerry Nelson. “Will mixing the existing smell of shitty diapers and rotting food with more of the same be such a big deal?”

City officials hope to create 50 more jobs with the new project. A majority of hires will come from ITT tech grads and lost mall walkers.

“I think there’s a call center, insurance folks, and a clothing store or something still in this place,” said Nelson. “I doubt they’ll really notice the stench over the existing stench.”

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