Rep. Scott DesJarlais tells 11-year-old girl there is no Santa Claus

At a Rutherford County town hall meeting last week, U.S. Rep. Scott DesJarlais told an 11-year-old girl that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, as part of a bizarre rant that began after she asked DesJarlais if anything could be done to stop her father, an undocumented immigrant, from being deported.

Responding to the girl’s question, DesJarlais said, “We have laws, and we need to follow those laws, and that’s where we’re at,” which was met with cheers and applause from the audience.

Then DesJarlais proceeded to deliver a seemingly interminable stream of pointed statements, directed at the little girl.

“Oh yeah, there’s no Santa Claus, too,” said DesJarlais. “You know who sets out those Christmas presents and eats those cookies you lay out? Your mother and father. Well, this next Christmas, it’ll just be your mother.”

“Also, you know what?” said DesJarlais. “Even if you study hard all through school and do your best, there’s a chance that in a couple of years you might just get knocked up by a deadbeat boyfriend. Or you might be forced into a loveless, soul-crushing marriage.”

“Is your favorite film Good Will Hunting?” asked DesJarlais. “Because it looks like you’ve been hunting at Goodwill for that dress you’re wearing.”

“In your face, little girl!” said DesJarlais. “BOO-YEAH!”

Francis Porkloin
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Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.