Serpentine Belt Guy and Poem Lady to be keynote speakers at 2013 Southern Creative Panhandling Convention

Organizers of the Chattanooga-based annual 2013 Southern Creative Panhandling Convention have announced its final lineup of speakers, workshops and discussion forums, for this year’s event, featuring veteran downtown panhandlers Serpentine Belt Guy and Poem Lady being the keynote speakers.

The compelling, award-winning storyteller Serpentine Belt Guy will speak about the challenges of keeping the same story he has told for over a decade fresh.

panhandlerAn estimated 18,000 Chattanoogans and tourists have heard Serpentine Belt Guy’s tale, about being from out-of-town and needing the remaining funds to pay for an emergency serpentine belt replacement for his car; it is learned that, unfortunately, he has left his wallet on the dresser of his hotel room, but he offers a faded, dog-eared handwritten receipt as evidence for the veracity of his story.

Poem Lady’s lecture, entitled “Shiny Change for Shoddy Product” will educate and enlighten about the technique of being so annoying that people will pay you to shut up.

A venerable downtown mainstay, Poem Lady offers, in exchange for a modest payment, the spontaneous creation of poetry, which is of consistently poor quality.

The convention, which typically draws two-thousand panhandlers from across the nation and Canada, will be held at the Electric Shuttle stop in front of the downtown Buffalo Wild Wings.

Panhandler (Used under the CC-BY-ND-2.0 license. Source:


Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

Previous Story

Warehouse Row announces addition of Wal-Mart Supercenter.

Next Story

Chattanooga Bigfoot arrested on charges of supplying alcohol to Signal Mountain Teenagers

Latest from Culture