Hurricane Katrina evacuees forced to leave TN

Hurricane Katrina damage in August 2005 (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/2j6FCT)

After Governor Bill Haslam asked the federal government to block the placement of Syrian refugees–who are fleeing violence and unrest caused by ISIS–in Tennessee today, the state government also passed emergency legislation to force all Hurricane Katrina evacuees currently living in Tennessee to leave the state.

“Hurricane Katrina churned the cesspool of sin that is New Orleans, making it even more of a chaotic hellhole than before, and some of its drunken, fornicating looters ended up taking root in other cities, including ones in our fair state,” said state legislator Cooper Nolfinch.

“Back in 2005, the South Carolina police found out that over half of their Katrina evacuees had criminal records including some convicted of rape or aggravated assault,” said Nolfinch. “These Katrina evacuees are like ticking time bombs.”

“We thought that it was only fair to be consistent. This legislation was written solely to protect the safety of Tennesseans,” said Nolfinch. “And the Titans beat the Saints a week ago, so we have the right.”

Francis Porkloin
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