In what some may call the meshing of two recent headlines, Chattanooga’s own Bigfoot was arrested on charges of supplying alcohol to 18 Signal Mountain teenagers over the weekend.
Police responded to a disturbance call of a “large drunken hairy bastard” groaning and hiding behind a tree. Neighbors spotted the creature just as police were leaving from the noise complaint just an hour before.
“We believed it to be just another horseshit drunken redneck Bigfoot sighting,” said Signal Mountain Police Chief Boyd Veal, “but the call came from within two blocks of the private school brat slosh fest that officers had just shut down.
“I was like, totally freaked out at first.” said 17 year old GPS student, escaped party goer, and Signal Mountain resident Gabby Westerman, “but then we knew he was super cool when he handed us all Bud Lights.”
No stranger to the charges brought against it, records from 1988 show the Chattanooga Bigfoot was accused of providing a group of teenagers some methamphetamine and LSD. Witnesses said the Bigfoot caused no bodily injury, as history would suggest, it only wanted to prove that it was “hip”.
photo taken from Wikipedia.com. Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license.
July 25, 2014
July 13, 2014
No, it isn't, and I doubt any bondsman will go his bond, either. That
maybe you didn't hear about the guy who raped a 2 1/2 year old, I woul
I believe if we're going to have an entertainment district, there shou
No, this is fictional, as it states on the bottom highlights.
Yeah, who would believe there are flying doughnuts?