After the historic passing of Bills of 102 and 129 in the Tennessee House and Senate respectively, Chattanooga Whiskey co-founders Joe Ledbetter and Tim Piersent announced they have decided to keep distillery operations in Indiana.
“It’s really due to a variety of reasons” Ledbetter said, “plus, can you imagine the pain in the ass moving a distillery would be?”
The bill passed the Tennessee House and Senate with wide margins, which currently awaits Governor Haslam’s signature.
Distilleries have been illegal in the Chattanooga area due to laws dating back the prohibition era. Many months of debating within Tennessee lawmakers proved to be an emotional rollercoaster for the Whiskey duo. “It was quite the ride! Too bad it really was for nothing,” Piersant laughed.
Photo courtesy of Chattanooga Times Free Press
“Ever since we started this Chattanooga thing, we decided to grow out some facial hair,” Ledbetter grumbled, “it is going to feel great to finally be able to rid our faces of this shit.”
With Chattanooga recently overthrowing Austin, TX as the number one hipster city in the states, Ledbetter saw this as a deterrent. “We all know that hipsters tend to gravitate to the High Lifes and the PBRs. Our high quality product just couldn’t compete with the lower price, and lower taste option,” Ledbetter cried.
When asked about the 30,000 square-foot building the pair were planning to occupy, Piersant replied, “Fuck it! Let it develop into some more expensive apartments or a Red Lobster.”
Slander, not satire.
Am I the only one here who read "this site is satire, fiction, and int
OMG I'd rather put a big ugly stain on it....kinda the same thing isn'
Poor straight boys, they want the style and flair of being gay but are
Just a reminder that when you want to take a candid selfie, it is best